Drawn to the Rhythm

"hoping to find some comfort there, yearning to feel free"

Monday, December 18, 2006

Addenda.

A while back, I posted some advice for restaurant patrons. After working two eight-hour brunch shifts in a row this weekend, I have a couple of items to add to my running list. Let's call this installment, "How NOT to encourage your server to 'accidentally' spill bleach into your vegetable soup."

* Do not, under any circumstances, sit at a dirty table. Just don't fucking do it.

Now, I understand that most restaurants have hostesses to help control the flow of customers. I, however, happen to work at a non-hostess establishment, so it's every man for himself when it comes to seating. I get that you're hungry, and I get that you don't want anyone to snag the table you've rightfully claimed as your own. But dammit, it's just plain nasty to settle down with someone else's nappy napkins and lipstick-stained glasses right in front of you. Just give me a few minutes and I'll clean that shit up for you; if you're really anxious about table-theft, you can stand a few feet away and subtly trip anyone who dares try to thwart your dining plans.

Sanitary concerns aside, it's super-duper degrading for you to sit smugly at your table while I mop up pancake syrup and baby drool.

* Do not bother your server while he/she is at the computer.

If you forgot to tell me about a deathly allergy, I might excuse you from this rule. But, generally speaking, the time I spend in front of the Micros screen is my happy time--I'm impeccably pacing your meal, I'm organizing my thoughts, and I'm figuring out how to serve you and your fellow customers more efficiently and pleasantly. I'm also communicating with my co-workers, trying to make change, and, if you're an extreme pain in the ass, making funny faces while you can't see me. When you leave your table to harrass me about a lemon for your water or the fact that you would prefer your dressing on the side, you are breaking my concentration and yanking me out of my zone. You stay at your table, I'll visit often to check on you and bring you things, and we'll have a copacetic, non-homicidal relationship. Deal?

Next in the series: why "the chef has made it that way for me before" sounds frighteningly like nails on a chalkboard. Ta! :-)

posted by bettyjoan @ 12/18/2006  

26 Comments:

  • At 11:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "you are breaking my concentration and yanking me out of my zone"

    WTF. It's not open-heart surgery.

     

  • At 11:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    People who dislike serving people should not be, um, servers.

     

  • At 11:25 PM, Anonymous owner said…

    anonymeese: you need to shut the fuck up. she is RANTING. appropriately, i might add. work is work; serving isn't simple, especially with smug pricks expecting everything to be perfect. so just take the two points, and shut it.

    ps: "serving" is just a title. "provider of service" is better.

     

  • At 11:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    People who dislike providing service should not be, uhm, providers of service.

    Not saying it's a bad thing, just saying. Free career advice, which I once took myself.

     

  • At 12:03 AM, Anonymous Grant said…

    How far we have fallen. This blog writer is just reminding people about simple civility. Someone is busy doing something...don't interrupt. You would want the same curtesy. Maybe your work is so important that someone waiting tables seems beneath you. They are not. We depend on one another's toil, and I for one am grateful that I can slide into a table and order safe, good food from people who will cook it and serve it. Yeah, I'm paying for the service, but don't own the server.

     

  • At 1:31 AM, Blogger bettyjoan said…

    Anonymous #1: Like, I totally thought waitressing WAS, like, open-heart surgery! That must be because I'm, like, a total moron--I'd, like, have to be to be a server, like, right?

    I know it's not the most intellectually stimulating job. But anyone who has waited tables knows that there is a lot of multitasking involved, and when you get distracted and lose your train of thought, the service can suffer. So, if a customer doesn't want his or her service to suffer, he or she might consider staying put (unless, as I mentioned, there is a matter of some urgency).

    Anonymous #2 (if you're not the same person as Anonymous #1, that is): First, I love serving--I've been doing it for a long time, and it is a fun and rewarding job. However, it has many challenges, and I thought I'd write about a few of them. Second, don't even get me started on how logically fallacious it is to suggest that disliking something means that you shouldn't do it. Though, I'd certainly suggest that people who dislike reading this blog should not, um, read this blog.

    Owner: You're right that serving isn't simple. I'm not sure that "provider of service" is any better than "server," but I definitely see where you were going and appreciate the sentiment!

    Anonymous #2 (again): Just so's you know, waitressing is not my career. It's a great part-time way to make money and meet people, and the good customers far outnumber the not-so-good. I just think that the dining-out experience is a two-way street--I am courteous, respectful, and attentive to my customers, and they should have the decency to throw at least some of that back my way.

    Grant: I think you got my point, and you restated it very well. Unfortunately, there are a lot of folks out there who think that servers (and bartenders, and car mechanics, and salespeople, etc.) are beneath them. It always cracks me up when I tell those people what I actually do for a living--the looks on their faces are pretty priceless.

     

  • At 1:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I guess I'll restate my point:

    I don't care if you're a waiter, a customer, a surgeon, or an indian chief. Don't take yourself so seriously.

    -Anon #1

     

  • At 3:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Anonymous:
    You are a big bitch. Let the gal rant. She can have a zone if she likes. Sorry it's not as intellectually stimulating as your job.
    BYW: I bet you've eaten an assload of spit in your day, probably 100% without your knowledge.

     

  • At 4:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Anon: Is it lonely up there on your pedestal?

     

  • At 12:52 PM, Anonymous Banjo said…

    I work full time in a busy (1000+ people a day) cafe in Asheville. I feel your pain. Anonymous obviously has no idea how the modern, post-industrial economy works now. No one wants to be a server, but sometimes its all we have to sustain ourselves. I am amazed at how rude and demanding people can be, yet I have to do the job due to the money I can make.

     

  • At 1:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If the server seems to be ignoring you, she/he is probably helping someone else. They work for tips, and are never deliberately rude. Wait your turn, you self-absorbed yuppie cocksmoker!

     

  • At 1:41 PM, Anonymous Pancake Eatin' Fool said…

    The second two make sense, but the first..? Would you really have four people standing in the (usually cramped) spaces between the tables, rather than at the table? In a popular hostess-less restaurant it really can be every diner for himself. Sorry if you think I'm sitting there "smugly" but I'm probably just thinking about my pancakes.

     

  • At 2:04 PM, Blogger bettyjoan said…

    Anonymous #1 (again): "Don't take yourself so seriously." That IS good advice, and I try to follow it every day--next time, I'll try to make my humor less subtle so y'all can tell that I'm just blowin' off steam and trying to get a laugh or two. :-)

    Matt1978: I sure hope that no one who reads this blog has (unknowingly) ingested spit, or any other bodily fluid for that matter--but I fear the odds of that being true are pretty slim. Thanks for reading!

    Mr. Anthrope: Now, now... ;-)

    Banjo: Wow, that IS a busy cafe! I disagree that no one wants to be a server, but I definitely understand where you're coming from. Thanks for visiting!

    Anonymous (not even bothering with #'s anymore): If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to find a way to use "self-absorbed yuppie cocksmoker" in a sentence today. Awesome.

    Pancake: Methinks you know at which restaurant I work--uh oh! ;-) Seriously, I understand that it can be cramped and crowded. But the solution is to just ask me (or another server, or a manager) if you can have the table when it's ready. That achieves two purposes: 1) lights a fire under our collective butts to bus the table, and 2) keeps your pretty face away from someone else's refuse. And I promise, if someone else tries to slide in and steal the table after you've asked nicely for it, they will get the 'tude!

     

  • At 3:27 PM, Blogger BarPerson said…

    My lord bettyjoan, I feel you. Anonymous should really, really stuff it. The smartest people I know work with me at a bar, and they are all better at math than most people. (P.S. Keep that in mind when you're drunk off your ass and complaining that the change is wrong.)

     

  • At 3:45 PM, Anonymous mar lup said…

    Jesus Christ, BettyJoan, you suck. Fine that you don't like to be interrupted by pushy people -- pathetic that you stay in a line of work where that's expected, but I suppose it's your choice -- but if you forget to bring a lemon wedge for someone's water (or forget to ask), it's _your fault_ they're hunting you down to ask for one.

    As for your evident problem with "but the chef has made it for me that way before" -- go screw yourself. You're the least important person in the restaurant. The chef and the customers are the one who matter, and the question of how they want their food prepared (and how the chef is willing to prepare it) is tantamount. _Your_ concerns about this matter are meaningless.

     

  • At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thanks to the blog world, the pendulum seems to have swung to the side of the waitstaff. I've always been a model customer: polite, patient, and generous of tip, yet still I often experience disdainful service in "nice" restaurants. Of course some customers are assholes, but so are some waiters/waitresses. I'm sick of paying for the sins of a few bad apples, and I refuse to grovel at the feet of an arrogant server who's so benevolent as to allow me the honor of eating in the restaurant that employs them. It's a business! If I'm shelling out for an expensive meal, I think you can come up with a lemon for my water without rolling your eyes at the indignity of working for a living.

     

  • At 4:47 PM, Blogger jeanette said…

    it is certainly true that many servers are assholes or are incompetent at what they do (which just goes to show you that serving is not easy and not for everyone). and no, a respectful customer should not have to put up with a server who is arrogant or indifferent to that customer's wants.

    however, that is not the situation that was presented here. bettyjoan, who i can assure you is about as far from arrogant, unconcerned, or incompetent as anyone you will meet, was simply venting about impatient goddamned customers who fail to see that the restaurant business is a two-way street - a symbiotic relationship between server and customer. true, it is still technically a service industry, but the axiom "the customer is always right" does not mean the customer always has a right to be a rude, pompous, asshole jerk. in fact, you already have a perfectly good way of showing your discontent with the service - the tip - without being a class-a douchebag to boot. as in all relationships, it is always better to take diplomatic measures first - in the case of the dirty table, kindly mentioning you intend to sit there and asking if the server would mind bussing it promptly - before getting nasty. if the server is competent and respectful, your request will be answered. if after giving the person a reasonable amount of time to complete your request, it has not been completed, then you have a perfectly good claim to talking to a manager or sitting your ass down at a dirty table top. but servers are not f-ing servants, people. the concept that the customer is always right and is more important exists merely as a business strategy, not because customers are somehow more superior than waitstaff.

    the arrogance addressed in this blog post was on the customers' side, and many customers have it. of course, many customers don't. bettyjoan could just as easily write a post about horrible, arrogant, asshole servers (as she has worked with plenty) and what not to do as a server when you have kind and patient customers. but she didn't. and there is a fine line between respecting the server-customer relationship (which is all she hopes for) and asking customers to grovel at your feet (certainly not what she is advocating).

    oh, and if it really is pathetic to stay in a line of work where being interrupted by pushy people is expected (though i don't agree that this is a necessary part of the restaurant business), then most of us would be pretty fucked. the truth is, many americans (and certainly some non-americans, too, though not as much by culture, i would posit) are just pushy people, whether they are your customers in a restaurant, your client in a law firm, your student's parent in a school. if we all stopped doing jobs we genuinely liked because we wanted to avoid pushy people, we'd all be unemployed.

     

  • At 4:49 PM, Blogger bettyjoan said…

    Barperson: I don't know if some of these commenters should "stuff it," but maybe they should take a step back and attempt to appreciate a different point of view. A gal can hope, right? :-)

    Mar lup: Wow, "you suck" and "go screw yourself" are such sensitive and intelligent pieces of criticism, I'm not sure I can even recover or retort! Oh, wait, yes I can. First, I don't think that being treated rudely should be "expected" in any line of work. Second, if you think that a server is "the least important person in the restaurant," you clearly don't understand how the food SERVICE industry works. I'm not saying you have to kiss my ass, I'm just asking to be treated like a human being. Try it sometime--you might be surprised with the results. Although, I suck, so what do I know, right?

    Anonymous: I'm glad that you are a polite, patient, and generous customer--as I previously mentioned, people like you are definitely in the majority, and I appreciate what you do. I am also sorry that you've received less-than-ideal treatment despite your courtesy as a patron. That said, the point of my post was NOT to excuse ambivalent service or to whine about working for a living. Rather, I was trying to point out small ways that the customer can assist in making their service better. As you alluded to, after all, the customer plays a part in his or her dining experience.

     

  • At 4:53 PM, Blogger bettyjoan said…

    Jeanette: Word. ;-)

     

  • At 5:28 PM, Blogger BarPerson said…

    bettyjoan, yes you're right. I take that back. The "stuff it" comment was a knee-jerk thing. Whoops.

     

  • At 6:06 PM, Anonymous Aaron G. said…

    I've been a server, and a good one at that. Your complaints are trivial and unimportant. I tip because I get good service, not becuase I feel I have to follow some preordained ritual in order to please you (outside of being generally polite, of course).

     

  • At 6:32 PM, Blogger bettyjoan said…

    Barperson: You are forgiven. :-)

    Aaron G.: I am sure that you were a good server. I am also sure that you are a good person, despite that fact that you summarily dismissed my "complaints" as "trivial and unimportant" (in response to which I was going to make a comparison to a part of your anatomy, but that's neither here nor there). I suggest that you heed the previous commenter's advice and not take yourself so seriously. And by the way, my post had nothing to do with tipping--though I agree that you should tip based on the service you receive (which, surprise, you actually have something to do with).

     

  • At 6:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    As both a physician and former waiter, I feel competent to comment on the "it's not open-heart surgery" comment." Waiting tables was the most difficult job I've ever had. It was a great relief to go back to cleaning up autopsy tables. Surgery is not all that difficult most of the time, and it's done by a team with only a single "customer." Nobody would DARE interrupt the surgeon during a procedure, and nobody would treat her as they would a waiter (at least not more than once!)

     

  • At 10:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow. After having read this entire series of comments, I feel as though I've just indulged in a Jerry Springer marathon. It's interesting to me that random internet surfers stop to read a "next blog," and upon finding something as simple as an "end-of-workday" rant, take personal offense. What was that about not taking yourselves too seriously, folks? Interesting study in human behavior, the blogosphere.

    I'd also like to attest to the fact that bettyjoan will hold your table while it's being cleaned. She's excellent that way.

     

  • At 3:25 PM, Blogger bettyjoan said…

    Dr. Anonymous: I absolutely loved your comment! Thanks for bringing a VERY interesting perspective to the discussion.

    Meme: Jerry Springer is an excellent comparison--I mean, geez, right?! And you're right about ye olde blogosphere--brings out some interesting traits in people, especially when they can hide behind an "anonymous" moniker.

    Oh, and I'll hold your table anytime, baby. ;-)

     

  • At 4:09 PM, Blogger Freckled K said…

    Anonymous is the same guy or gal who taps me on the shoulder when I'm smack in the middle of reciting the specials to his neighboring table. And is probably also the guy/gal who waves frantically, while shouting at a bartender who is managing a crowd that is three-deep from the bar. The sense of entitlement is apparent, and is likely the cause for any poor service he may have received.

    Do you help the folks who are smiling warmly at you and thanking you as you fill their water glasses, or do you scurry over to the Jackie who is crossing his arms and glaring at you expectantly? Oh, I'll get to you, and I'll do so efficiently and with a smile, but I'm certainly not going to make you a priority over the other patrons -- the ones who are treating me like I'm a real, honest-to-goodness human being. I know it's a stretch, but you may want to try it.

    As someone who has been both a server and a customer, my experiences sitting at the table have always been pleasant ones. I think that's simply because I know the value of a please and/or thank-you, which makes me a far more enjoyable person to wait on.

    Oh, and I never have waved a dollar bill in the air at a bar, and have NEVER had a problem getting a quick drink.

     

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