Tips for tips (among other things)
Since starting my part-time restaurant job, I’ve been reminded of all of the great things about working in the service industry. For example, it’s fast-paced and active, and you get to meet a lot of interesting people. Plus, you get sweet food/drink discounts, and going home with cash at the end of the night is always helpful. Sadly, with those pros come some definite cons. The hours are challenging, the work is hard on your back, and—let’s face it—sometimes people suck.
So, for your benefit and mine, here are a few pointers for how NOT to be an asshole customer—whether at my restaurant or elsewhere.
* Leave an appropriate tip—Yes, tipping is discretionary. But if you can’t afford to tip, you shouldn’t be eating out. Remember that servers don’t make a significant hourly wage, and they are taxed on a certain percentage of gratuities whether or not they actually make that money; also, they must give a portion of their tips to the bartender, hostess, food runner, etc. I think 15-20% is pretty standard for dine-in, with some fluctuations (up or down) depending on the quality of service. Stiffing a server is almost never okay; if the service is that bad, for goodness sake, talk to the manager. As for take-out and/or counter service, I suppose it depends on the amount of work that’s being done. If the attendant merely hands you your already-prepared food or grabs you a canned drink from the cooler, I don’t necessarily think a tip is appropriate. However, if that person makes you an elaborate beverage or takes/prepares a large carry-out order, a little “thank you” in the form of some loose change or a buck or two would certainly be a nice gesture.
* Be polite—It’s been said many times before, “server” does not equal “servant.” Your waiter or waitress should certainly be at your service, willing and able to make your dining experience a pleasant one. He or she is not, however, your verbal punching bag. If you’re having a bad day (as we all do from time to time), do not take it out on your server (unless, of course, you’d be satisfied and understanding if he or she did the same). On a related note, please remember that restaurant personnel are not members of an inferior class. We all serve someone in our jobs, right? Oh, and if a server smiles at you, it won’t kill you to smile back. :-)
* Remember the other customers—In one of my doctors’ offices, I noticed a sign that said something to the effect of, “We apologize for any delays, but we strive to give each patient our full and undivided attention. Rest assured that you will receive the same courtesy when it is your turn to be seen.” Likewise, when you go to a restaurant, you are not the only patron. When the server visits your table, he or she should take all the time that is necessary to attend to your needs. However, when he or she is helping another guest, do not snap your fingers or sigh huffily or otherwise interrupt. On a related note, in regards to counter service, conduct your business and get out of the way so that folks behind you can get what they need. If you haven’t decided what you want, step to the side until you do. If you’ve paid and you’re just waiting for your food/drink, step to the side and someone will let you know when it’s ready.
* Communicate—Ah, the key to any successful relationship! This tip actually applies to both customers and employees. If there is a caveat on a special (for example, if a discount applies to dine-in orders only), or if the kitchen is out of something, your server should tell you. If you don’t like or are allergic to a certain ingredient, or if you have a special request (for example, you might want to hurry things along so you can make a movie showing), you should tell your server. There are very few mind readers in this world, and even fewer of them work in the restaurant business. So, chat it up! You’re far more likely to get what you want if you open your mouth and ask for it.
This is, obviously, by no means an exhaustive list. So, servers and customers alike, what’s your advice for how to make dining out more pleasant—for everyone?
So, for your benefit and mine, here are a few pointers for how NOT to be an asshole customer—whether at my restaurant or elsewhere.
* Leave an appropriate tip—Yes, tipping is discretionary. But if you can’t afford to tip, you shouldn’t be eating out. Remember that servers don’t make a significant hourly wage, and they are taxed on a certain percentage of gratuities whether or not they actually make that money; also, they must give a portion of their tips to the bartender, hostess, food runner, etc. I think 15-20% is pretty standard for dine-in, with some fluctuations (up or down) depending on the quality of service. Stiffing a server is almost never okay; if the service is that bad, for goodness sake, talk to the manager. As for take-out and/or counter service, I suppose it depends on the amount of work that’s being done. If the attendant merely hands you your already-prepared food or grabs you a canned drink from the cooler, I don’t necessarily think a tip is appropriate. However, if that person makes you an elaborate beverage or takes/prepares a large carry-out order, a little “thank you” in the form of some loose change or a buck or two would certainly be a nice gesture.
* Be polite—It’s been said many times before, “server” does not equal “servant.” Your waiter or waitress should certainly be at your service, willing and able to make your dining experience a pleasant one. He or she is not, however, your verbal punching bag. If you’re having a bad day (as we all do from time to time), do not take it out on your server (unless, of course, you’d be satisfied and understanding if he or she did the same). On a related note, please remember that restaurant personnel are not members of an inferior class. We all serve someone in our jobs, right? Oh, and if a server smiles at you, it won’t kill you to smile back. :-)
* Remember the other customers—In one of my doctors’ offices, I noticed a sign that said something to the effect of, “We apologize for any delays, but we strive to give each patient our full and undivided attention. Rest assured that you will receive the same courtesy when it is your turn to be seen.” Likewise, when you go to a restaurant, you are not the only patron. When the server visits your table, he or she should take all the time that is necessary to attend to your needs. However, when he or she is helping another guest, do not snap your fingers or sigh huffily or otherwise interrupt. On a related note, in regards to counter service, conduct your business and get out of the way so that folks behind you can get what they need. If you haven’t decided what you want, step to the side until you do. If you’ve paid and you’re just waiting for your food/drink, step to the side and someone will let you know when it’s ready.
* Communicate—Ah, the key to any successful relationship! This tip actually applies to both customers and employees. If there is a caveat on a special (for example, if a discount applies to dine-in orders only), or if the kitchen is out of something, your server should tell you. If you don’t like or are allergic to a certain ingredient, or if you have a special request (for example, you might want to hurry things along so you can make a movie showing), you should tell your server. There are very few mind readers in this world, and even fewer of them work in the restaurant business. So, chat it up! You’re far more likely to get what you want if you open your mouth and ask for it.
This is, obviously, by no means an exhaustive list. So, servers and customers alike, what’s your advice for how to make dining out more pleasant—for everyone?
posted by bettyjoan @ 8/22/2006
8 Comments:
At 3:29 PM,
Washington Cube said…
The worst thing that I've encountered lately has been overly attentive service, in some cases to the point of being bizzare. I had a waiter kneel down next to me at a restaurant in Annapolis and tell me that he "sensed" I had music in my life and did I play the piano? Hello?
The other thing I encountered was a version of Steven on "Top Chef" where he felt he had to educate me on every single thing being served, to the point of being obnoxious. Sometimes it's enough that you put the plate on the table, silently and go away.
At 3:41 PM,
bettyjoan said…
Cube: I agree that overly attentive service can be far worse than the alternative. It's a matter of reading a table--some folks really want to engage the server in banter, and others just want to eat their food and converse with their dining companion(s). Unfortunately, some servers just refuse to (or, maybe, are unable to) adjust their approach for different types of customers.
At 5:53 PM,
Velvet said…
14 year veteran of the waitressing profession. However, I'm Greek, so restaurants are in my blood.
Now, you covered my number 1 pet peeve - when you are at one table and another table yells for you. I can't stand that. Everyone should have to wait tables for a year in their life, so that they know that this is NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR!
Also, how about when you go to a table, someone orders a drink, you get it, come back, and someone else wants something? You ask if there's anyone else, then you leave, come back and guess what? Of course someone else wants something. That is rude. Ask at once, and give your server a chance to take care of others.
Families never tip 20%. Barely 15% if you're lucky.
At 5:58 PM,
bettyjoan said…
V: I wanted to put that (i.e., not making all requests when you ask, "Can I get you anything else?") on the list, but it turned into a HUGE rant, so I decided to cut it and save it for Part Deux. ;-)
At 10:50 PM,
She says said…
I agree that everyone should work food service AND retail for at least one summer to fully understand how fricking hard it is to be on your feet that long, dealing with obnoxious customers that long and taking home so very little pay.
On the other hand, it is the job of the food service folks to get the order right and do whatever he/she can to make the visit a pleasant one. I agree that server definitely does NOT equal servant, but the tip is a gratuity, not a given. I've been in situations where the server either screwed up or never checked up -- and absent efforts to fix the goof and an apology, well, the tip should drop (but not to zero; no matter what, that person worked and deserves something).
At 4:28 AM,
Law-Rah said…
Okay, so I have a tip question. The other night, a few friends and I went to dinner. We did not invite everyone on the internet, which is apparently a serious violation of someone's blogger rules, but I digress. Anyway, our waitress (who WOULD HAVE been the recipient of our tip) was not very good and in fact got fired mid-dinner. The manager took over and was mediocre at best. He did, however, knock 20% off our bill. So, would you tip? We did not because the manager is presumably salaried and we could not figure out who would have gotten our tip. Were we wrong?
At 1:55 PM,
bettyjoan said…
She says: You're absolutely right that a tip is not a given. But, there are certain rules of behavior that are there to guide people, such as the 15-20% range. If your server doesn't perform adequately, that number should drop. But I'm finding more and more that a) when people go out to dinner and the bill is higher than they expected, they screw the perfectly competent server instead of sucking it up, and b) people look for ANY silly excuse to dock a server in the tip department.
Law-Rah: That's really unfortunate (for y'all, AND for the waitress)! I can't summon up any etiquette rules for that situation, but I think you could go either way. If it was solely the manager who helped you after "the incident," I think you're cool with skipping the tip. If there were other servers, food runners, bussers, etc. helping out, I might have left a little something (but certainly not the standard 15-20%). And I'm cool with you not inviting everyone on the internet, Little Miss Snarky-Poo, but can I come next time? ;-)
At 3:42 PM,
Law-Rah said…
TOTALLY! I believe a billboard invitation is required for the next time a blogger leaves her/his house.
Post a Comment
<< Home