Oh. My. Gawd.

There I was, just sitting in the breakroom, enjoying a delectable (and well-earned, I might add) chocolate-and-mascarpone treat from The Bread Line. I was flipping through the latest edition of Newsweek when, all of a sudden, my eyes focused on this.

:: Insert blood-curdling horror movie scream here ::

You have GOT to be kidding me.

I can just hear this guy's inner monologue now: "Hmmm, I'm a pretty big douchebag already--I mean, I've been honing my craft for years--but you know what would really step up my asshole A-game? A tool-tastic Polo tattoo, right above my left nipple! Man, I am totally going to score when I show up at Mr. Smith's with my shirt unbuttoned."

At this point, I don't know whether to put the gun in his mouth or mine.

Happy Wednesday, everyone...